Ladies, I think that helping out by keeping a packed suitcase for a DV victim is excellent. I’m not saying YOU should keep the suitcase, but advise her to pack a suitcase with her valuables–those things she wouldn’t want to leave behind if she has to get out in a hurry. I say this because some women get killed when they spend time trying to pack or when they go back to get items.
Also, the code word idea is good too because sometimes the woman might not be able to say exactly what is happening, but she can say the code word.
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Believe her, and keep what she tells you confidential.
Let her know she is not to blame for the abuse; she is not responsible for it and does not deserve it.
Take the time to talk with her privately and ask about suspicious bruises or fights that you know about. She needs to tell her story in her own time and at her own pace.
Help her make safety plans for herself and her children. It could save their lives
Validate her feelings; she may feel hurt, angry, afraid, ashamed or trapped. She may love the abuser.
Make strong statements against violence in your social circles and in support of victims building violence-free, autonomous lives.
Give her information about local resources.
Offer to assist her in keeping safe by letting her stay with you, if possible, or keeping documents, money, a packed suitcase for her, or identifying a code word that she can use to signal the need to call the police on her behalf.
If appropriate, talk to her children about what they are seeing and feeling.
Help them make plans to be safe.
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