BLACK HISTORY MONTH featuring: Hazel I Jackson

BEVALUED

Hazel I Jackson , a native of South Carolina, earned a bachelor’s degree in secondary English education from South Carolina State College and a master’s of education degree from Temple University.  She did post-graduate work at Delaware University.    Prior to moving to Lancaster in 1952, she taught four years in the public schools of South Carolina. 

In 1961, Lancaster Sertoma Club began a mission to help African-Americans who had been deprived of job opportunities to get into their qualified fields.  Every time she applied for a teaching postiion, she had to supply a picture along with the application, so school boards knew she was African-American.   She was rejected 12 times–“not because of her credentials.”  But, she didn’t let that stop her.  It just inspired her to work harder to get a foot in the door as a subsitute teacher.  Eventually, she was hired as an English teacher  for seventh and eighth…

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Encourage Yourself In the Lord

1 Samuel 30:5-6 (New International Version)

⁵ David’s two wives had been captured—Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail, the widow of Nabal of Carmel. ⁶ David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the LORD his God.

Depression tried to overtake me. Negative thoughts, voices speaking into my ears, whispering criticisms and everywhere I turned… everybody was going through something .  There was no escaping!  I wasn’t getting a breakthrough at church or from reading scripture.  Finally, I gave into depression and decided to go to bed and pull the covers over my head. 

 Has this ever happened to you?  Have you ever felt like giving up and surrendering to defeat?

As I laid on my bed it occurred to me;  maybe instead of laying here feeling sorry for myself…I should pray.  Just as I began to pray the Lord spoke to me.  He said, “if you continue to lie here, you will become even more depressed, get up and get moving.  I have already overcome for you and the only way you’re  going to lose, is if you continue to lie here and remain in this state of mind.”  So I got up!  And, I began to ” encourage myself in the Lord.”  I started speaking to myself.  “You can’t change anything by staying in this bed.  In fact, some situations you can’t change at all.  The only way you’re going to change anything is by getting out of the bed and moving,  Moving toward the change; causing the change, and/or pressing on in spite of the circumstances.”  The more I spoke to myself the better I began to feel. 

The circumstances around me didn’t immediately change, but I changed the way I felt about them.  Yes, depression was all around me.  But, I determined that I wasn’t going to let it dictate how my day would be spent.  Or, how I would respond to what was happening around me.  It was all up to me.  I could remain depressed or remember that God has everything under control.  And He is working it all out for my good and the good of others.

Perhaps,  you’re going through a situation that has you depressed or discouraged.  Just like David, you can encourage yourself in the Lord your God.  David sought the Lord’s guidance and God told him that if he “got up”  he was going to be successful and recover all.  You should not only seek the Lord’s guidance but remember what He has done for you in the past.  He brought you out before, He’ll bring you out again.

PRAYER FOCUS:  Father, right now I am faced with a difficult situation.  But, I refuse to give into depression or discouragement.  I seek Your guidance and encouragement.  Thank you for ALL the times you worked it out in the past.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN. 

SINGLES EMPOWERMENT SUMMIT

Forgivness

We are all wounded people. Who wounds us? Often those whom we love and those who love us. When we feel rejected, abandoned, abused, manipulated, or violated, it is mostly by people very close to us: our parents, our friends, our spouses, our lovers, our children, our neighbors, our teachers, our pastors. Those who love us wound us too. That’s the tragedy of our lives. This is what makes forgiveness from the heart so difficult. It is precisely our hearts that are wounded. We cry out, ‘You, who I expected to be there for me, you have abandoned me. How can I ever forgive you for that?’

Forgiveness often seems impossible, but nothing is impossible for God. The God who lives within us will give us the grace to go beyond our wounded selves and say, ‘In the Name of God you are forgiven.’ Let’s pray for that grace.  ~Henri Nouwen

The young whipper snapper who cuts you off on your morning commute causing you to spill your hot coffee all over your shirt and tie may make you mad as one of Michael Vick’s former pit bulls, but the rude driver isn’t very likely to hurt you.  It’s those closest to us who we must learn to forgive most, we might as well get used to it.

God gives us no seasonal permits or hunting licenses to hold grudges and resentment towards one another. You might say “There are just some things that are impossible to forgive,” and maybe there are, without God.  All things are possible with him.  And if it were the case, that some things can’t be forgiven, don’t you think God would have spelled that out in his letters to us from home?

A musician friend named Link gave me a lift from the airport a couple years back while I was scratching and clawing to survive in Nashville (at the time, I was still very much on the heels of my recent divorce).  He picked me up in his slightly used black Land Rover he’d just purchased.  He couldn’t help but show it off as he had every reason to; it was a nice ride and he bought it for a song and dance.

We ended up having a good conversation during our short trip.  As it turned out, the conversation turned to forgiveness (which had me feeling a little queasy since it was something I was really struggling with).  We delved into the trouble we have in forgiving no matter what and in forgiving quickly (I hate to admit it, but I have been guilty of trying to make a person or two I have been really ticked off at squirm and grovel a little before I forgave them).

I realize that unforgiveness comes down to a sort of exercise of power on my part.  But that’s what makes it appealing, to my flesh that is—abusing the power I possess at someone else’s expense (God has given us power for simply one reason the way I see it, and that is to bless one another, not to be bitter with one another). It’s as if I want to let my offender know, “Hey, you hurt me and I want you to feel my pain too.”  Before he dropped me at my destination my friend shared a powerful truth that night that he’d recently heard his pastor share.  And it still challenges me to this day.

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.  (Colossians 3:12-14, The Message)

It’s when we refuse to forgive quickly and completely that the poison of unforgiveness begins to fester and spread like an open-infected wound, polluting our entire being and our relationships.

Oh, and about my friend’s pastor.  He said, Forgiveness is not a place we are trying to get to, forgiveness is the place we start.

If we are going to get anywhere in our relationships, we must forgive first, and we must forgive fully.

“Wherever I go, God will always be with me.”

Joshua 1:9  (NIV)

9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

One day, as I arrived at my youngest daughter’s Christian preschool classroom, she rushed up to greet me with a hug and announcement that she had received a sticker.  “Mommy, Mommy, I did it,” she proudly said.   For weeks the class had been working on memorizing a scripture verse.  Joshua 1: 9.  Each child took a turn trying to repeat the scripture from memory.  That day was my daughter’s turn and she was able to say it in its entirety.  The teacher encouraged her to recite it for me.

I must admit, the last thing I wanted was to be delayed any longer than necessary.  It was just about the time for the other children to be let out of school, and I was running late for picking them up.  I attempted to put on my biggest smile, “Sure honey, Mommy would love to hear your scripture verse,”  I said.  She began in the most precious, calming and soothing voice I have ever heard.  The words pierced straight through to my heart.

God was speaking to me, and the tears began to flow from my eyes.  He couldn’t have made it any plainer.  My daughter said the words, but God was talking.  “Have I not commanded you?”   Or, daughter, didn’t I tell you?  Don’t be afraid and don’t be discouraged.  I’m right here, and I’ll be with you wherever you go.”  As I looked into her big brown eyes; God was letting me know that He hears my cries and understands my fears.

I had been feeling overwhelmed with all the responsibilities placed on me since my husband’s stroke.  I was overcome with discouragement and fear.  I just didn’t feel adequate as a wife or parent.  As hard as I tried to hold everything together, it appeared as though the ship was going to sink.  The bills were due, the babies needed new shoes, and I was broke.  Running from this appointment to that appointment, making sure everyone was where they needed to be and had all their needs met.  I was exhausted, weary and scared.

God spoke those words to me not in a scolding way, but a loving way.  He let me know that whatever fear or discouragement the devil was trying to whisper to me, He was not  letting me face it alone.  He will always be right by my side.  It doesn’t matter what situation I may be facing, God is with me wherever I go.

Ladies, it doesn’t matter what you are going thru today; God is with you wherever you go.  He knows all about your struggles and fears.  Joshua was about to face unknown territory.  But, God had assured him that He would “never leave him nor forsake him.” Isn’t that comforting?

Just as I heard God’s voice through my daughter that day, you too can hear the calming voice of God assuring you that no matter where you go, He’ll be with you every step of the way.  Listen.  Can you hear Him?

PRAYER:  Heavenly Father, I thank you for understanding and calming my fears.  I have some very difficult decisions to make.  But, I know that I don’t have to make them all alone.  Thank you for giving me the courage and strength to overcome my fears.  I receive encouragement from you right now.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN.

Tye Tribbett singing “Everything will be Alright”

“BUT THE LORD…”

“But the LORD is in His holy temple; the LORD still rules from heaven. He watches everyone closely, examining every person on earth.” Psalm 11:4 (NLT)

Are you in a season of uncertainty? Do you find yourself in need of an infusion of power? Today’s key verse holds the key to the infusion you need. The power is summed up in three simple words:

But the Lord.

“But the Lord” is a powerful phrase. The word “but” is a conjunction and used in this sentence it means “contrary to.” Contrary to what? In the proceeding verses of Psalm 11, David proclaims how he trusts the Lord for his protection. He followed his proclamation with the details of how the wicked are preparing their weapons for attack against him. Then he belts out the transition statement of power: But the Lord.

Maybe you feel like King David. You have been surrounded by the Lord’s protection in the past. You have marveled at His work in your life, however, in this present season of life you feel as if the enemy is stocking his armory against you. It seems Satan spends his days sharpening the arrows and stringing his bow.

Regardless of his current circumstances, David could be assured of two certainties: the Lord is in His Holy Temple and the Lord still rules from heaven. Oh, the peace this must have given King David. God is constant.

This statement of power can infuse you and help you look at your life through a different set of lenses. In the midst of downsizing or divorce, buyouts or payoffs, layoffs or let downs, disappointments and despair, we can count on the same two certainties as the great King David. We can put our faith in the certainty that the Lord is in His Holy Temple and the Lord still rules from heaven. Oh, the peace this can bring to us. Rest in the peace this statement of power offers and don’t look back.

Dear Lord, Your power is indescribable. Forgive me for failing to remember the power that is mine as a child of God. Thank You for remaining constant when life is not. I rest today in the comfort that You are in Your Holy Temple and You still rule from Heaven. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

So, what’s holding you back?

What’s Holding You Back?

So how do you know when something is holding you back?  Here are some signs:

* Despite your passion or desire for something, you do not take steps to attain it.

* Others see more potential in you than you can see for yourself.

* You believe that others have held you back or hindered you in some way.

* You believe in your potential but are afraid to move toward it.

* You feel stuck.

* You are worried about embarrassing yourself.

* You are hiding behind shame or guilt.

* You have given up on certain goals or dreams because of something in your past.

* You allow fear to control your decisions.

* You sidestep issues that need to be addressed in order to avoid conflict or disappointment.

* You have talents you rarely use.

* You think or speak in negative terms about yourself, your abilities and your goals.

* You are waiting on perfect circumstances before you take a step forward.

What have I to FEAR?

Psalm 27 (NIV)

¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

We can spend a large portion of our lives in fear–afraid to live life to the fullest because of this or that.  Most of what we are afraid of–are simply possibilities.  Things that only “might” happen.

God promised us that He will be our light; guiding the way.  He will be our strength; in our time of weakness.  When we are facing a storm; He will be our strong tower that we can run into and be safe.

There is no need to fear what “might” happen.  God (our Heavenly Father) will never leave us nor forsake us.  We can be confident and rest assured in the arms of our sovereign God.

PRAYER FOCUS:  Heavenly Father, I rest in You.  I will not be afraid of what might happen.  I will trust in Your complete control.  Help me to sense Your presence in my daily life.  I need not be afraid with You in my life.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN.

The Ultimate Price for Love

Isaiah 53:4 (Amplified Bible)

^“Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains [of punishment],…”

You have been called out and separated by God.  You were not created to be abused.  You were not created to suffer with depression or anxiety.  You were chosen to fit in the hands of God who has already accepted you.  How you need to know the height and depth of His unfathomable love for you.

Some women have never been secure in the love of their natural fathers, and it affects how they view their Heavenly Father.  There is no doubt about His love for you.  He made the ultimate sacrifice just to prove the genuineness of His love.

You are so valuable that Satan held you for ransom, requiring that your Heavenly Father pay an unimaginable price.  What price would God pay to see you freed?  He sent His Son armed with love and wrapped in flesh.  He showed how much He loved you and  just how valuable you are to Him, by hanging on the cross…beaten beyond recognition, with a crown of thorns on His head.  All just because He loves you!

Never again question His love for you.  You may not understand it, but believe it.  He absolutely loves you.  Not only when you are right, but also when you are wrong.  You are special and full of potential and possibilities.  You are the daughter of a King.  He is the King who spared no expense to pay the ransom that delivered you from all that would have you in bondage.

Be Free…and know that your Heavenly Father loves you more than you will ever be able to comprehend.

PRAYER FOCUS:  Heavenly Father, thank you for the ultimate price you paid for me.  Even when I didn’t deserve it; you sent Your Son to redeem me.  There is no greater expression of love than for one to lay down his life for another.  Thank you for ALL that you have done for me.  Help me to realize Your love for me.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN.

Does The Compass OR The Clock Control Your Life?

The clock and the compass are two incredible instruments.

1. The clock is a complex instrument that measures the passing of time. A clock tells us what time it is.  It tells us the immediate present, but basically that is all it tells us.  It does not predict how much time we have left.  It does not give us time and cannot create time.  It just measures time. 

2.  In our society, the clock is an instrument of stress.  It reminds us of how much time has passed, time that we no longer have.  It cannot predict how much time we have left because it cannot predict interruptions yet to occur.  In our society the clock controls when we get up, how fast we live our lives, how hard we push, how long our day is, how fast we drive, and dictates our schedule as it alters our priorities. “What time is it? ”  is far more likely to be an anxiety question than a curosity question. 

3.  A compass is a very simple instrument that points north.  Its only purpose is to provide direction.  No matter how expensive or inexpensive, no matter how complex or how simple compasses are, they have the same simple purpose–point north.  By always pointing north, the compass enables us to establish a sense of direction.  The compass is an invaluable instrument when we need direction.  It can always help us establish a course, a direction that we can trust even if we don’t know where we are.  Because the compass provides a certainty in times of uncertainty, the compass is an instrument of reassurance and comfort. 

Jesus became the needle of our spiritual compass by never losing His sense of direction.  By always facing and following God. 

Nothing ever deceived Jesus; nothing ever led Jesus off God’s course for Him.  When satan tempted Him person-to-person, Jesus stayed on course.  When the Pharisees challenged and attacked Him, Jesus stayed on course.  When His disciples argued and fussed in ignorance and misunderstanding, Jesus stayed on course.  When one of His best friends betrayed Him,  Jesus stayed on course.  When His disciples deserted Him at His arrest, Jesus stayed on course.  Ehen He was tried , falsely condemned, ridiculed, and abused, Jesus stayed on course.  When He died hanging from a cross, Jesus stayed on course.  Hebrews 4:15 states;  For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in all things as we are…yet without sin. 

He is the needle of our spiritual compass.  As you live life;  if you want to identify with God,  you start with Jesus.  As you struggle in life; if you want direction that will point you to God, you start with Jesus. 

Beware!  Clocks run down and time runs out.  The compass is always there, always steady.  When we meet God, and we will, there will be no clock.  Time will be no more.  But the compass (Jesus) will be there, still pointing to God. 

***Taken from a recent sermon by:  Rev. Edward M. Bailey (Bethel AME Church of Churchtowne, Lancaster PA) 

PRAYER FOCUS:  Jesus, thank you for being the needle of my compass, always pointing the way to God.  When I can’t find my way, You are steady, and always on course.  I want to keep my eyes on the compass (Jesus) and not on the clock.  I need Your direction.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN. 

Do you have an “Emergency Joy Kit?”

Nehemiah 8:10 (King James Version)

¹⁰Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our LORD: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.

Most of us probably begin each day in a good mood. Usually, its as the day progresses that we begin to start feeling down or out of sorts. For me, my day begins getting the kids off to school. Sometimes its a smooth transition, BUT, sometimes it is absolutely chaotic.

Today, I read a devotional online which spoke about an “Emergency Joy Kit.” The author is a woman of God named Bonnie St John. Only, she called it a “Joy First Aid Kit.” However, when I was reading the article, I thought of an “Emergency Kit.” You know, like the one we carry around in the trunk of our cars. To me, it makes more sense to have a kit that I can use for all types of emergencies…not just one used in case of an injury or accident.

Well, no matter what you may choose to call it; as long as it gets the job done and changes the situation at hand. Just as important as it is to have a first aid kit or emergency kit in the trunk of our cars; we should also have a kit for those down days. One that we can reach into and pull out just the right tool that will bring about a change in attitude and circumstances.

Do you have an “Emergency Joy Kit” handy? For me, one of the first items in my kit will be “praising God.” I can’t think of any other thing that makes me feel better. When I spend time “praising God” and exalting His name….everything else seems to be less important. Truly, the joy of the Lord, is my strength. What’s in your kit?

Here are some examples:

* taking long walks

* listening to music

* long hot baths

* spending time with you children

For everyone the kit will be filled with different things. The important thing is to make good use of it. For certain, we are going to have a down day every now and again. But, having an “Emergency Joy Kit” handy, will change our attitude and reduce stress. Think about it and be prepared by having your kit ready.

PRAYER FOCUS: Heavenly Father, it is for certain that every day will not be a great one. However, it is a day that you have made and we can rejoice and be glad in it. Help us to look to You for our STRENGTH and JOY. We can fill our kits with the things that bring us JOY and keep our total focus off of our situations. IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN.

If You Need Rest…Come Unto Me

Matthew 11:28-30 (Amplified Bible)

²⁸Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.

    ²⁹Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls.

    ³⁰For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good–not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne.

 

There doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day anymore.  The more I try to get done, it seems the more there is to get done.  There are only 24 hours in each day, and a portion of them we have to spend resting.  Most of us probably only average about 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night.  If  you get more than that, consider yourself blessed. 

No doubt about it, we all could use a few more hours in a day.  It’s the “rest” part that I want to focus on today.  Could anyone use more rest?  I know that I could sure benefit from a few more hours of it. 

As I read this passage of scripture, I discovered the reason I am so tired and overburdened, is because I have been removing myself from the yoke that God wants me to bear. Once I remove myself from His yoke, my burdens become difficult.  His yoke is easy and His burden is light.  It also explains why I’m not finding enough time for rest.  Because, He promised that I would find rest, relief, and refreshment for my soul. 

All we need to do, is remain yoked with God. 

PRAYER FOCUS:  Father, It is my desire to remain yoked with You.  Help me to trust You and come unto You when I am weak and weary.  Thank You for giving me rest.  IN JESUS’ NAME,  AMEN. 

PRIORITIES

P – Pray. Ask God for wisdom. Ask Him to show you His priorities for this season of your life.

R – Review God’s priorities for your life. Study God’s Word to determine His priorities for you as a woman.

I – Take Inventory Examine the activities that consume your time. Keep a time log for a week. Then ask hard questions. What are my true priorities? Are they the right ones?

O – Order your schedule. Ask, “What is important?” Make the hard choices based on God’s priorities for your life.

R – Resist the “tyranny of the urgent.” Don’t let the urgent keep you from focusing on the truly important.

I – Input from others. Seek input, counsel, and accountability from authorities, your husband, godly friends, and mentors.

T – Take advantage of the time God gives you. Don’t waste time. Do all to the glory of God.

I – Identify time robbers. What saps your energy and robs your time? Activities, attitudes, distractions, interruptions?

E – Experience this season fully. Be all there in this season of life. Weep, rejoice, work hard, and celebrate with all your heart. Don’t waste time living in the past or future.

S – Sabbaths. Take regular time outs to refresh, regain perspective, reflect and evaluate, and reprioritize. Make adjustments accordingly.

I hope  this helps ease some stress in your life and helps you make time for what’s truly important.

No Weapon Formed Against You Shall Prosper

Isaiah 54:17 (King James Version)

  ¹⁷No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD

This is a very popular scripture to the body of Christ.  It is very often quoted by believers as one of the promises of God.  Usually, the focus is on the word “weapon” but we often overlook the word “formed.” 

It is not difficult to understand what a weapon is supposed to do.  They are meant to inflict injury, destroy and kill.  We sometimes forget that we are in a “spiritual warfare.”  And there will be weapons used in battle to fight against us.  Such weapons as:  depression, sickness, debt, cancer, unemployment, racism, jealousy, division, low self-esteem and abuse…..these are all weapons designed to kill, steal and destroy us. 

When these things occur in our lives, we sometimes want to blame God.  He never said we wouldn’t have battles to fight or weapons thrown at us. He didn’t say that the weapons would not injure us.  But, He did promise that they would not prosper.  

Rev. Dr. Laura Foster from (Greater Quinn AME Church of Detroit, Michigan) pointed out that the word “formed”  in this passage of scripture is often overlooked by many believers.   Indeed, there are weapons that are going to form…they just won’t prosper.  This is the heritage that belongs to the servants of the Lord.  If you are a born-again believer, this is a promise that belongs to you.  BELIEVE IT AND RECEIVE IT.  2 Corinthins 10:4, tells us the we have weapons too, but they are not carnal….they are mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds,  for we wrestle not with flesh and blood but with principalities and powers of darkness. 

 God has promised us the victory in every situation, against every weapon that is formed against us.  He has declared us victors not victims.  CHAMPIONS! THAT’S WHAT WE ARE!!

 

PRAYER FOCUS:  Father, you have already given us the victory over every weapon that forms against us.  Thank you for our heritage.  Allow us to trust you no matter what weapons we are facing today.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN. 

Finding Time for Prayer

Ephesians 6:18 (Amplified Bible)

¹⁸Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (God’s consecrated people).

 

You’ve probably been disappointed more than once by emails or phone messages from family or friends that go like this:  “Sorry I haven’t called lately,  but things have been awfully busy.  The kids have all had colds and fevers lately, but everybody is fine now, thank goodness  flu season is over.   Hope you are fine too.  Well, better get back to work.  Will call as soon as I have more time to talk.  Love Ya…” 

Sometimes, I postpone phoning friends because I am waiting for a more opportune time that will allow me to talk (what I feel would be quality time) for long periods.  Not wanting to cut the conversation short because I only have a limited amount of time to stay on the phone.  So, I put off  the phone call hoping to find a block ot time that I feel would be more suitable.  This usually results in family and friends feeling somewhat neglected. 

My prayer life was similar to this type of behavior;  postponed, with long gaps in between.  I was disappointed in it and I assumed that God was too.  However, Prayer doesn’t have to be lenthy or wordy.  Instead, it can be short but very satisfying.  The purpose is to connect with our Heavenly Father.  I have learned to simply open my heart to God and allow Him to speak to me.  I don’t have to be the one doing all the talking. 

As I have found with family and friends; they don’t care how long we talk, they just want to hear from me.  God justs wants to hear from us too!  He is waitng to hear from you!  Pick up the phone and give Him a call right where you are.  It doesn’t matter how long you talk or who’s doing the talking.  There is no right or wrong way to pray!

Learning to fit prayer into a busy life is not easy.  Make a commitment to at least one definite prayer time every day.  Begin with consistency, but don’t beat up yourself if you don’t always follow through.  I have found that praying for the needs of others has helped me to remain committed.  Again, God just simply wants to hear from us. 

PRAYER FOCUS:  Heavenly Father, we need to spend time with You.  Help us to schedule our day with You included.  It is our earnest desire to connect with You as often as possible.  Thank you for allowing us access to You at any time of the day or night.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN. 

NAT’L CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION MONTH

Mark 10:14 (The Message)

 ^13-16The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: “Don’t push these children away. Don’t ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in.” Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them.

 

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month and we can see according to the above passage of scripture, that children are extremely important to Jesus.  He died for us all but He said “children” are at the very center of life in the kingdom of God.  He gathered them up in His arms and blessed them.  They hold a special place in the heart of God. 

Yet, so many of our children are being hurt on a daily basis.  Child Abuse is divided into four types:  physical, sexual, emotional, and neglect.  Any child at any age may experience any or all of these types of abuse.  We ALL have the responsibility to protect and defend these children.  There are several ways to help.  If you think a child is being abused; take immediate action. 

I am a survivor of child abuse.  I’ll never forget the person that tried to rescue me.  Unfortunately, it was after the abuse had occured but, because of her intervention the abuse was exposed.  Her name was “Christine Washington” and I honor her memory today with this post.  If she had remained silent (believe me, I know it takes courage to get involved) everyone around me probably would have continued to ignore the situation. 

Jesus doesn’t want us to ignore the pain and sufferings of children.  He wants us to bring them to Him.  We can do that by rescuing a child in danger.  And there are many ways of doing it.  Contact the Nat’l Child Abuse Hotline for more information:   (1-800-422-4453). 

PRAYER FOCUS:  Father, help us to be strong in the face of possible danger.  It is our responsibility to protect all children.  We ask you to protect the children we are aware of that are experiencing abuse today.  Help us all Father to be strong and courageous until the abuse can be stopped.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN.  

  

RECOGNIZING CHILD ABUSE: 

The Child:

· Has learning problems that cannot be attributed to specific physical or psychological causes:

· Is always watchful, as though preparing for something bad to happen;

· Lacks adult supervision;

· Is overly compliant, an overachiever, or too responsible; or

· Comes to school early, stays late, and does not want to go home.  

The Parent:

information, for conferences, or for home visits;

· Denies the existence of — or blames the child for — the child’s problems in school or at home;

· Asks the classroom teacher to use harsh physical discipline if the child misbehaves;

· Sees the child entirely bad, worthless, or burdensome;

Demands perfection or a level of physical or academic performance the child cannot achieve; o

 

· Looks primarily to the child for care, attention, and satisfaction of emotional needs

The Parent and Child: 

 

· Rarely touch or look at each other;

· Consider their relationship entirely negative; or

State that they do not like each other 

SIGNS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE

Consider the possibility of physical abuse when the child:

 

· Has unexplained burns, bites, bruises, broken bones, or black eyes;

· Has fading bruises or other marks noticeable after an absence from school;

· Seems frightened of the parents and protests or cries when it is time to go home from school;

· Shrinks at the approach of adults; or

· Reports injury by a parent or another adult caregiver.

Consider the possibility of physical abuse when the parent or other adult caregiver 

 

· Offers conflicting, unconvincing, or no explanation for the child’s injury;

· Describes the child as “evil,” or in some other very negative way;

· Uses harsh physical discipline with the child; or

· Has a history of abuse as a child.

SIGNS OF NEGLECT

Consider the possibility of neglect when the child: 

 

· Is frequently absent from school;

· Begs or steals food or money from classmates;

· Lacks needed medical or dental care, immunizations, or glasses;

· Is consistently dirty and has severe body odor;

· Lacks sufficient clothing for the weather;

· Abuses alcohol or other drugs; or

· States there is no one at home to provide care.

Consider the possibility of neglect when the parent or other adult caregiver: 

 

· Appears to be indifferent to the child;

· Seems apathetic or depressed;

· Behaves irrationally or in a bizarre manner; or

Is abusing alcohol or other drugs

 

SIGNS OF SEXUAL ABUSE

Consider the possibility of sexual abuse when the child: 

 

· Has difficulty walking or sitting;

· Suddenly refuses to change for gym or to participate in physical activities;

· Demonstrates bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior;

· Becomes pregnant or contracts a venereal disease, particularly if under age fourteen;

· Runs away; or

· Reports sexual abuse by a parent or another adult caregiver.

Consider the possibility of sexual abuse when the parent or other adult caregiver:  

 

· Is unduly protective of the child, severely limits the child’s contact with other children,

especially of the opposite sex;

· Is secretive and isolated; or

· Describes marital difficulties involving family power struggles or sexual relations.

SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL MALTREATMENT

Consider the possibility of emotional maltreatment when the child: 

 

· Shows extremes in behavior, such as overly compliant or demanding behavior, extreme

passivity or aggression;

· Is either inappropriately adult (parenting other children, for example) or inappropriately

infantile (frequently rocking or head-banging, for example);

· Is delayed in physical or emotional development;

· Has attempted suicide; or

· Reports a lack of attachment to the parent.

Consider the possibility of emotional maltreatment when the parent or other adult caregiver: 

 

· Constantly blames, belittles, or berates the child;

· Is unconcerned about the child and refuses to consider offers of help for the child’s school

problems; or  · Overtly rejects the child.

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

Administration for Children and Families

Administration on Children, Youth and Families

Children’s Bureau

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IS THERE A BALM IN GILEAD?

 

Isaiah 53:5 (NIV)

 ⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
       he was crushed for our iniquities;
       the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
       and by his wounds we are healed.

 He was wounded.  He was bruised.  He was pierced.  He was stripped of His majesty and glory.  He carried All our sicknesses and sorrows upon His back and by His stripes we are healed. 

You may ask the questions:  Why is there so much pain? Why  is there so much sickness?  Why is there so much sorrow?  Is there a balm in Gilead?  What can take away my pain?  What can take away my sorrow?  Can I be healed? 

The answer is “YES!” 

JESUS, IS THE ANSWER.  HE IS THE “BALM IN GILEAD.”

My testimony is not like that of many others,  I wasn’t addicted to drugs or alcohol.  I didn’t suffer a great loss of any kind, nor was I homeless or on a sick bed.  But, I was lost deep in my sin.  I had a sorrow that no matter where I turned for the answer or healing, I couldn’t find it. 

It wasn’t until I began to seek after God that I realized, I needed a Savior.  I had heard about this Jesus.  I was told that He could take away the pain and sorrow that I was feeling.  Only, I wasn’t quite sure I would be able to follow Him.  However, in 1984 I gave my hand to the Preacher, and my heart to Jesus.  My life has never been the same. 

We are approaching Resurrection Sunday;  a day of to rememberance and honor for what was purchased for us through the death of Jesus at Calvary’s Cross.  God sent His one and only Son to suffer death on the cross that we might be saved!  He is the answer to whatever situation or sorrow you may be facing.  Won’t you trust Him today?  He is the balm you need for you healing.  No matter where you are hurting,  Jesus can heal you. 

All those that are wounded, brokenhearted, discouraged, abused and in sorrow–Jesus paid the price with His life that you might be healed.  He is the balm that was spread over all the areas that you are hurting.  Don’t deny yourself the balm that can heal you of all your “dis-eases.”  Trust Him. 

PRAYER FOCUS:  Jesus I invite you into my life right now.  Believing that only You can heal me, because You were wounded for my transgressions and bruised for my iniquities and by Your stripes, IAM HEALED.  Thank you Jesus, for all you’ve done for me.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN. 

YOU ARE VALUABLE TO GOD

   Proverbs 31:10 (AMP)

 ¹⁰A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman–who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.

 

It’s taken me awhile to post in reference to the “Chris Brown and Rihanna” incident. Domestic Violence is not going away anytime soon.  In fact, it’s probably going to get worse before it gets better. I say this with all humility and deep regret.  I truly want to believe that someday things will get better, that men will get the help they need and we can put this demon to rest. It’s the same old story.  Man becomes angry; man beats woman; man begs for forgiveness; woman goes back to man; man becomes angry, again; man kills woman; the end of woman.  Pathetic. 

 But, unfortunately, I have to face the truth.   It is no secret that what negatively effects men will result in violence against women.  The country is in a state of economic upset.  When men are scared, disappointed, angry, embarrassed, rejected, and in pain; it ultimately leads to violence against women and children…”the weaker vessel.”  What will it take in this country for us to wake up and stop the madness?

 

Since we are unable to change any man, our only recourse is to change the way we allow ourselves to be treated by a man. It’s a given– as long as men are protected and escape consequences of their actions; things will stay the same. We may as well face it.  Ladies, we have to change the way WE allow ourselves to be treated.  When a man doesn’t see the VALUE in me; he is not worth my time or thought.  Every time a man abuses a woman; he DEVALUES her.  To him you are no better than the gum on the bottom of his shoe.  In fact, they often use their shoes to stomp all over you.  You must “know your worth.”

 

Firstly: according to Genesis 1:27-28, we were created in the image of God.  What could be more valuable than that?  Secondly:  Psalms 139:14 states, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. God took special care in creating us.  We are more valuable than rubies (Proverbs 31:10) He instructed the man to provide and protect everything that He created.  Especially, the woman that was made to complete him.  She was designed to fulfill a specific purpose. 

 

Daughter of God, know that you are valuable beyond any price that could ever be offered.  The only way we are ever going to achieve Domestic Peace is to stop allowing ourselves to be victims of Domestic Violence.  Pay attention to the warning signs and get out as fast as you can.  Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, however, in most cases; there are early signs of behavior indicating possible violent tendencies. There is a list of warning signs posted on this site.   Title: Why do abusers succeed?  BE CAREFUL. 

 

PRAYER FOCUS:      Heavenly Father.  I lift up every woman living with violence to You right now.  Protect her from physical abuse.  Give her the courage to walk away from any one that doesn’t value her as You do.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN.       

Why Bother?

Mark 5:35-36 (NIV)

 ³⁵While Jesus was still speaking, some men came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue ruler. “Your daughter is dead,” they said. “Why bother the teacher any more?”

 ³⁶Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

Have you ever had someone discourage you at a time in your life when you were doing all you knew to do?  The situation seemed so bleek and hopeless. All you may have had was one last bit of hope and they tried to take that  away. 

Well, such is the case with Jairus (the synagogue ruler)whose daughter was sick in bed.  Jairus fell at the feet of Jesus begging Him to come to his house and lay His hands upon her that she might be healed and live.  Jesus followed him.  Along the way a woman who had been bleeding for twelve years stopped Him by touching His garment.  Jesus turned and asked “who touched me?”  Keep in mind, Jairus’ daughter is at the brink of death.  Jesus, (doesn’t seem to be in any particular hurry) takes the time to minister to the need of this woman.  I don’t know about you but, I would have been just a little anxious at this point.  In verse 32, it says that Jesus actually began looking around for her.  The woman falls to His feet, begins to tell Him the “whole” truth.  Which may have taken even more time.  Jesus said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from you suffering.” 

Jesus took so long coming;  while He was still speaking to the woman, some men came up to Jairus and said, “Your daughter is dead, why bother or “annoy” the teacher any more?”  Sometimes, in some cases–you just have to “bother or annoy” Jesus.  Even though others may think its a waste of time.  Jesus is not “bothered or annoyed” by our prayers.  Someone may be dependant upon you reaching Him on their behalf.  Just think,  if Jairus had listened to those that said, “why bother,”  he could have been discouraged and given up all hope of his daughter being healed.  But, instead he listened to Jesus, who ignored what they said. He turned to Jairus and said,”Don’t be afraid; just believe.  Jesus spoke to her and she rose up from the bed, …HEALED.  Glory to God!

WHY BOTHER?

Don’t give up!  Jesus is on the way!  Just keep on believing! Take courage and don’t let anyone talk you out of your blessing. 

Habakkuh 2:3   ….This vision-message is a witness
   pointing to what’s coming.
It aches for the coming—it can hardly wait!
   And it doesn’t lie.
If it seems slow in coming, wait.
   It’s on its way. It will come right on time.

PRAYER FOCUS:  Heavenly Father,  give me the strenth to wait on Your perfect timing.  Let me not grow weary or faint.  In spite of all the negative reports that others might bring to me.  Help me to “keep on believing.”  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN. 

True Forgiveness by Ronda M. Harris

                     

Luke 7:47-48 (KJV)

48 And He said to her, thy sins are forgiven. 

 

There is something supernaturally powerful about forgiveness. The power of forgiveness has the absolute ability to change a person’s life forever. Hence, the purpose of Christ shedding His blood at Calvary. Most all of us are familiar with the virtue of forgiving others so that we can be free and released from the potential toxins that accompany unforgiveness. However, the true power of forgiveness is not self-centered at all; it is the undeniable acknowledgment of our sins and our compelling need of the forgiveness of God. The secular mindset focuses on forgiving others for your own sake, but that thought alone leaves the individual devoid of the true forgiveness that we all need from God through Christ Jesus. It is not enough to forgive others or even yourself, but accepting the forgiveness of God through the finished work of Christ is crucial to a healthy exchange of forgiveness; your sins and shame—for God’s love and forgiveness. 

 

 

Prayer Focus:  Father, we thank you for you Love that is extended toward us and we thank you for your blood that was shed for the remission of our sins.  Help us to understand the true power of forgiveness that comes only from you.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

A Matter of Perspective

Philippians 2:5 (NIV)

 ⁵Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

 

Even for strong Christians who are grounded in their faith, discouragement can easily sneak its way into hearts and minds as life deals us certain situations and struggles.  As we struggle with the challenges and difficulties of everyday life, or things that happened to us that were unfair or unwarranted, it is easy to get pulled into a habitual mindset of negativity.  It can happen to the best of us.  Yes, what happened wasn’t fair, LIFE ISN’T ALWAYS FAIR! 

Sometimes, it’s  just a matter of perspective.  We often choose to focus on the negative rather than the positive.  It’s during these times that we become our own worst enemy.  We wage a battle in our minds, because we look at the negative of our circumstance, instead of focusing on what it is that God may be trying to teach us or work through us.  God always has a plan!

It isn’t automatic for me to ask God, “How can you get the glory from this situation?”  My attitude isn’t always that of Christ Jesus.  Jesus humbled himself to the will of God.  He understood that whatever He had to endure, it was only to bring glory to his Father.  The same is true in our lives.  God wants our lives to bring glory to Him as well.  We must learn to trust Him, completely. 

What is your perspective today about what you are going through?  Are you grumbling and complaining?  Are you focused on the negative?  Or, are you allowing God to draw you close to Him, so that you might better understand His will for you life?  Our attitude is our choice. 

Also, its important to remember, whatever you are going through, as you walk through the valley of the shadow of death….He is with you!

PRAYER:  Father, today I choose to focus on the positive.  I surrender to your will for my life.  It is my desire to change my perspective, attitude and thought pattern.  Help me to have the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus.  May you forever be glorified in my life.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN. 

BLACK HISTORY MONTH featuring: Hazel I Jackson

Hazel I Jackson , a native of South Carolina, earned a bachelor’s degree in secondary English education from South Carolina State College and a master’s of education degree from Temple University.  She did post-graduate work at Delaware University.    Prior to moving to Lancaster in 1952, she taught four years in the public schools of South Carolina. 

In 1961, Lancaster Sertoma Club began a mission to help African-Americans who had been deprived of job opportunities to get into their qualified fields.  Every time she applied for a teaching postiion, she had to supply a picture along with the application, so school boards knew she was African-American.   She was rejected 12 times–“not because of her credentials.”  But, she didn’t let that stop her.  It just inspired her to work harder to get a foot in the door as a subsitute teacher.  Eventually, she was hired as an English teacher  for seventh and eighth grade classes, at the former Hand Junior High School. She was the first African-American woman  teacher in Lancaster. 

She continued teaching in city schools until 1970, when she was chosen as the first African-American faculty member, an assistant professor of English and African-American literature at the former Millersville State Teachers College. 

 In 1980, she was instrumental in renaming Higbee Elementary as Martin Luther King Jr. Elementary.  She aslo chaired the M.L. King scholarship fund.  And, along with Professor Bruce Kellner, initiated courses in African-American literature and instituted a Black Expressions program at Millersville, in which African-American students could perform in music, literature, drama, poetry and art. 

Mrs. Jackson’s own artistic side showed through as she turned herself into a playwright and director.  She wrote the play “From Trial to Triumph,” based on the life of Richard Allen, founder of the African Methodist Episcopal Church.  The play was performed not only locally at Bethel AME Church, but also for the Harrisburg district and in the Philadelphia area.  She helped with the script for Bethel’s Underground Railroad program.  She also wrote “Profiles of Courage,”  a play depicting the lives of famous African-American men and women, and “King of Kings,” a religious drama.

When she retired from Millersville University in 1994, she was honored with a $10,000 scholarship named the Hazel I. Jackson Scholarship Fund, the first scholarship the university has given in the name of an African-American.  Mrs Jackson currently resides in Lancaster County,  and serves as a Steward at Bethel AME Church of Churchtowne, Lancaster PA.

Are You A Survivor?

Romans 8:35, 37 (NIV)

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” 

 

Most of us, at one time or another in our lives, have experienced some very devastating events and circumstances.  It is safe to say that some of us have survived circumstances that would have caused others to be destroyed emotionally, or have serious breakdowns.  These events can cause us to remain in a state of “helplessness or victimization” for the rest of our lives.  In the case of those affected by hurricane Katrina in New Orleans; I can’t think of any catastrophe or carnage more devastating than what they had to live through.  Some of them are still displaced, homeless, and emotionally distraught.  As I watched the casualties captured on film through the documentary by Spike Lee; “When the Levees Broke,” it was almost impossible for me to comprehend how anyone could survive such devastation in order to get their lives back to some type of normalcy. 

ARE YOU A SURVIVOR?

Well, we have a choice as to whether or not we will remain a victim or progress onward toward survival and emerging triumphantly.   Romans 8:35-37;   lets us know that there is nothing that can separate us from the Love of God.  Nothing?  No, nothing!  Nothing that we face keeps God from coming to our rescue.  He will use all His power to ensure that we are victorious and triumphant in every area of our lives.    It is His will that we not only survive but, that we are more than conquerors. 

To be more than a conqueror is to be a survivor.  Not only that you survived but, that you mastered a difficult situation, overcame a difficult problem, denied all the odds, and defeated the enemy.  2Cor. 2: 14 says, “Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ.”  That means that it doesn’t matter what the circumstance, God will cause us to survive and win. 

Of course, not of our own strength, but through His power.  In and of our own strength we not strong enough to survive some difficulties.  There are situations that we could never make it through alone.  But, Thanks be to God we are not alone.  He loves us so much that He causes us to win. 

Ladies, there is only one way we can be defeated;  if we quit, or refuse to survive. 

PRAYER:  Heavenly Father, we thank you for loving us enough to see us through every trial and circumstance we face.  It is your unfailing love that causes us to triumph over all things.  Strengthen us where we are weak or scared.  We are more than conquerors in You.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN.  

“God Cares for You” by Ronda M Harris

1 Peter 5:7 (King James Version)

 7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

 

In our lives we are faced, at times, with many challenging situations. Some of these challenges have the potential to cause us great embarrassment, shame and may be even guilt.  I know, personally, all too well of how these unrelenting burdens can cause you much grief.  From secret sins to the collapsing of a promising relationship-to a public embarrassment of a private matter, all give way to the possible scrutiny of others.  This possibility is what many times, drives us to isolate ourselves from the comfort of God’s love. It should be  at these times,  we draw near to the Father, but we don’t. Other people’s opinions serve as a nail that hammers us to the wall of pain, and doesn’t remedy the ill in our souls. The power of someone’s opinion can release a domino effect of negative emotions within us, and for that reason alone do we struggle. My encouragement to you is to take your burdens to the Lord in prayer because he cares for you. Do not become a prisoner of someone else’s opinion. What “they” say and what “they” think should take a back seat in order to allow God’s love and care for you to take priority. 1 Peter 2:7 (kjv) Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Prayer Focus: Father we thank you for your love that is extended toward us. Strengthen us when we are struggling with personal situations that are uncomfortable, painful or embarrassing. Help us to humble ourselves in your presence that you may exalt us above the place of pain and shame. Help us to understand just how much you really do love and care for us. In Jesus’  Name,  Amen.

 

 

BLACK HISTORY MONTH featuring: Dr Halle Tanner Dillon Johnson

Dr. Halle Tanner Dillon Johnson was the first female physician to pass the Alabama state medical examination and was the first woman physician at Tuskegee Institute.  She was the eldest of nine children born to African Methodist Episcopal bishop Benjamin Tucker Tanner and Sarah Elizabeth Miller in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in 1864.  Her brother, Henry Ossawa Tanner, became a noted artist.  Shortly after Halle was born the Tanners moved to Philadelphia where the children were educated.    

In the middle 1880s Halle Tanner worked with her father on the AME Church Review.  In 1886 she married Charles E. Dillon and the two moved to Trenton, New Jersey where they had a daughter, Sadie.  Charles Dillon died of an unknown cause and Halle Tanner Dillon moved back to Philadelphia to live with her parents.  Tanner decided to become a physician and enrolled at the Woman’s Medical College of Pennsylvania.  The only African American woman in her class, Tanner graduated with an M.D. and high honors after three years of study in 1891.  While at the college, she learned of a job opportunity as resident physician at Tuskegee Institute.  She contacted Booker T. Washington, the Principal of Tuskegee.  Washington appointed her and helped her prepare for the Alabama state medical examination.

Dr. Tanner Dillon sat for the ten day examination and passed.  She served at Tuskegee University as a physician, pharmacist, teacher, and ran a private practice for 3 years.  While at Tuskegee she founded a training school for nurses and a dispensary (pharmacy).  In 1894 she married her second husband, Reverend John Quincy Johnson, an aspiring theologian and mathematics professor at Tuskegee Institute.  The couple moved to Nashville where Reverend Johnson pursued a graduate degree in divinity while serving as pastor of Saint Paul’s AME Church.  Dr. Tanner Dillon Johnson, meanwhile, resumed her medical practice.  The couple had three more children but in 1901 Dr. Halle Tanner Dillon Johnson died of complications resulting from childbirth.

NATIONAL BLACK HIV/AIDS AWARENESS DAY

Febuary 7, 2009

NATIONAL BLACK  HIV/AIDS AWARENESS DAY

GET EDUCATED!

GET TESTED!

GET INVOLVED!

GET TREATED!

BLACK LIFE IS WORTH SAVING

BLACK HISTORY MONTH featuring: Maria W Stewart

Stewart, Maria Miller (1803-1879)

Maria Miller was born a free-black in Hartford, Connecticut.  Little is known about her early life.  She married James Stewart in 1826 and took up public speaking in order to support herself after her husband’s death three years later.  Cheated out of her inheritance by corrupt white Boston businessmen, Stewart relied upon income from teaching and her public speaking engagements.  As one of the first women to speak in public, Stewart was not always well-received.  In a speech to a mixed audience of men and women, she asked, “What if I am a Woman,” reminding her audience that women since ancient times had been revered for their wisdom and accomplishments.  According to Stewart, free blacks had not accorded women the same respect.

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In September 1832, Maria W. Stewart delivered at Boston’s Franklin Hall one of the first public lectures ever given by an American woman. Her speech, directed to the women of the African American Female Intelligence Society, called on black women to acquire equality through education. The speech appears below.

Oh, do not say you cannot make anything of your children; but say, with the help and assistance of God, we will try. Perhaps you will say that you cannot send them to high schools and academies. You can have them taught in the first rudiments of useful knowledge, and then you can have private teachers, who will instruct them in the higher branches.

It is of no use for us to sit with our hands folded, hanging our heads like bulrushes lamenting our wretched condition; but let us make a mighty effort and arise. Let every female heart become united, and let us raise a fund ourselves; and at the end of one year and a half, we might be able to lay the cornerstone for the building of a high school, that the higher branches of knowledge might be enjoyed by us.

Do you ask, what can we do? Unite and build a store of your own. Fill one side with dry goods and the other with groceries. Do you ask, where is the money? We have spent more than enough for nonsense to do what building we should want. We have never had an opportunity of displaying our talents; therefore the world thinks we know nothing…

Few white persons of either sex are willing to spend their lives and bury their talents in performing mean, servile labor. And such is the horrible idea I entertain respecting a life of servitude, that if I conceived of there being no possibility of my rising above the condition of servant, I would gladly hail death as a welcome messenger. Oh, horrible idea, indeed to possess noble souls, aspiring after high and honorable acquirements, ¬yet confined by the chains of ignorance and poverty to lives of continual drudgery and toil.

Neither do I know of any who have enriched themselves by spending their lives as house domestics, washing windows, shaking carpets, brushing boots or tending upon gentlemen’s tables. I have learned, by bitter experience, that continued hard labor deadens the energies of the soul, and benumbs the faculties of the mind; the ideas become confined, the mind barren. Continual hard labor irritates our tempers and sours our dispositions; the whole system becomes worn out with toil and fatigue, and we care but little whether we live or die.

I do not consider it derogatory, my friends, for persons to live out to service. There are many whose inclination leads them to aspire no higher: and I would highly commend the performance of almost anything for an honest livelihood; but where constitutional strength is wanting, labor of this kind in its mildest form is painful: and, doubtless, many are the prayers that have ascended to heaven from Afric’s daughters for strength to perform their work. Most of our color have dragged out a miserable existence of servitude from the cradle to the grave. And what literary acquirements can be made, or useful knowledge derived, from either maps, books, or charts, by those who continually drudge from Monday morning until Sunday noon? . . .

O ye fairer sisters, whose hands are never soiled, whose nerves and muscles are never strained, go learn by experience! Had we had the opportunity that you have had to improve our moral and mental faculties, what would have hindered our intellects from being as bright, and our manners from being as dignified, as yours? Had it been our lot to have been nursed in the lap of affluence and ease, and to have basked beneath the smiles and sunshine of fortune, should we not have naturally supposed that we were never made to toil? And why are not our forms as delicate and our constitutions as slender as yours? Is not the workmanship as curious and complete? . . .

“A Resolution for A Commitment to God” by Ronda M Harris

MATTHEW 6:33 (KJV)

33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

With each New Year comes new resolutions.  A renewed commitment to the things that matter most to us:  our health, our finances, our educational endeavors, business adventures and relationships.  All of which are noble causes, and certainly deserve our time and attention, however, with the list expanding, I ponder to think, is our relationship with the Lord expanding as well? 

It is my belief that we are all sincere in our efforts to focus in on the Lord, and perhaps at times this becomes a challenge because of the ever growing list, but my encouragement to you is to pause and take a moment to redirect your focus.  Putting our relationship with the Lord at the top of the resoluton list will better position us to succeed in all our other endeavors.  Matthew 6:33 says it best, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”  “…His righteousness…,”  means being in right standing with God, doing things His way.  Giving God His rightful place in our lives is what He desires, that He may be glorified in every area of our lives. 

PRAYER FOCUS:   Father in Jesus’ Name I pray that as the rest of this New Year unfolds that You will unfold Yourself to us in ways we have never seen.  I pray that You will pour out Your Spirit on us that we will be renewed, revived and refreshed in our pursuit of You and You alone.  Touch our hearts to have a selfless commitment to You.  AMEN. 

Ain’t I A Woman!

Song of Solomon 1:15 (New International Version)

 15 How beautiful you are, my darling!
       Oh, how beautiful!
       Your eyes are doves

 

 

 

Isn’t she lovely?  Isn’t she wonderful?  Isn’t she precious?  Isn’t she special?  In the words of Stevie Wonder, I can’t think of any words more fitting for our “First Lady, Michelle Obama.”  Well, maybe one or two more;  elegant, classical, chic, self-confident, sophisticated, graceful, and BEVALUED.  She was truly the “fairest of them all” last night.  As  I was lying awake in my bed last night, it all seemed like a dream.  I kept checking my laptop for the next picture, just to make sure it was all true.  Am I dreaming?  I asked myself this question  over and over.  And yet, I knew it was real because I had just watched twelve hours of it all on television. The moment my children left for school, I turned on the T.V. set.  Not wanting to miss a single minute of this historical event.  We have a DVR, so I was also able to record everything.  Which means, I can watch it for hours more.

However, there is another woman that came to mind last night.  She too, was a very statuesque woman.  When she walked into a room, all eyes were on her.  A Preacher, she fought for equal rights for women and against slavery.  She became the first Black woman honored with a bust in the U.S. Capitol.  The same place First Lady Michelle Obama stood with her husband President-elect Barack Obama as he was sworn in the 44th President of the United States of America.  Her name is “Sojourner Truth.”   I couldn’t help but wonder how she might have felt had she been alive to witness this historic moment?  Probably, not unlike the way we as African-American women are feeling at this very moment in time.

After all, AIN’T SHE A WOMAN?  Nearly the same complexion as First Lady Obama, probably the same height.  A Mother, Wife, Orator, and Women’s Rights Activist.  In 1851, she walked into a room mostly occupied by white men and women, courageously and boldly stood up to respond to a white man’s statement. She gave an amazing speech entitled, “AIN’T I A WOMAN?” 

TWO AMAZING WOMEN!!  One fought throughout her life for basic opportunities to be given to women.  While the other is the recipient  and benefactor of the struggles and dehumanizing treatment endured by the other.  Hoping  that one day all women would be treated equally, with respect and valued. Women of other races already know what it is like to be valued, respected, and placed upon a pedestal.  As African-American women and all other non-white women, most of us have yet to experience this way of life.   This is the reason for this weblog.

BEVALUED was constructed by a small group of women that have come to understand and believe that all women are valuable.  It is our ambition to encourage, educate, empower, and uplift all women–especially non-white women.  It is our belief that non-white women are devalued more than any other group of  women in the world.  This being the case, we encourage you to embrace the value that God has placed upon you.  For you are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” 

We have a new First Lady, who had the “audacity to hope”  that she could be more than the world ever knew.  She believed that she and her husband could make a difference in the world.  Where did that belief come from?  It came from the God that created her and every woman that came before her.  Black Woman, there’s nothing you can’t achieve,  “You were created with a body, mind, soul and intellect.  And it’s His Glory your life must reflect.”  (excerpt from a poem by Ronda Harris entitled, “BLACK WOMAN”) 

BEVALUED, WOMAN CREATED BY GOD. 

**You can check out the speech by “Sojourner Truth” by clicking on this link:  http://www.feminist.com/resources/artspeech/genwom/sojour.htm

 

A DREAM FULFILLED!!

JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT!

THE 44TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES–BARACK OBAMA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Satan, the true Definition of a “Hater”

Ephesians 6:12 (KJV)
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Someone sent me a wonderful poem by Maya Angelou.  She is one of my favorite people in the whole world.  Although I don’t claim to know her personally.  She has inspired me more than just about any other.  In fact, she is one of the people I desire to meet someday.  I did however, get to see her in person a few years ago when she visited here at a local college.  Absolutely breathtaking!!  It was an event marked in my journal, to be remembered forever. 

The poem entitled “Definition of a Hater” is wonderfully written.  I just have one problem with it.  I don’t fully agree with the “definiton” of a Hater.  Because I don’t think she spelled out who the “Hater” is, or why he  hates us so much.  Oh, I suppose (I don’t know for sure) she is talking about “anyone” that hates on you.  However, according to scripture, we are not struggling against flesh and blood.  Our brothers and sisters are not our “Hater.”  As Christians, we must remember not to hold anything against flesh and blood.  We have an enemy– a hater–out to kill, steal, and destroy us, by any means necessary.  And he will use anyone to do it!  Let’s place the blame where it belongs.  On Satan. 

Satan hates God.  And he hates you too.  It is him that wants to see us fail.  It is him that wants to see us destroyed.  It is him that our struggle is with, not our Sisters In Christ.    His only reason;  because we belong to God and he is a defeated foe.  He wants nothing more than to see us defeated too. 

So my sisters, as you read this poem, remember who the true “Hater” is, and let’s place the blame where it belongs.  Where you read the word hater, replace it with Satan.  We have struggled with one another long enough.  It’s time to build each other up.  Maya Angelou has another poem that I love called “Phenomenal Woman.”  Beginning today, let’s view each other as a “Phenomenal Woman.”  We can better defeat the “Hater” by viewing one another through the “eyes of God.” 

The Bible states in Matthew 5:43-45, we are to love our enemies, and do good to them that hate us.  That we may be the children of our Father, which is in heaven.  Glory to God!

PRAYER:  Father, I thank you for every sister in my life.  I choose to embrace her and see her with your eyes.  She is a “Phenomenal Woman”  not a “Hater.”  May I only love and pray for her.  IN JESUS’ NAME.  AMEN.

*******************************************************************************************************

 

“Definition of a “Hater”        

A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all
their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.
They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever
good enough! When you make your mark, you will always attract some
haters…That’s why you have to be careful with whom you share your
blessings and your dreams, because some folk can’t handle seeing you
blessed…

It’s dangerous to be like somebody else…

If God wanted you to be like somebody else, He would have given
you what He gave them! Right? You never know what people have gone
through to get what they have.

The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but
they don’t know my story… If the grass looks greener on the other side
of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there
too!

We’ve all got some haters among us!  People envy you because you can:

Have a relationship with God
Light up a room when you walk in
Start your own business
Tell a man / woman to hit the curb (if he / she isn’t about the right thing)
Raise your children without both parents being in the home

Haters can’t stand to see you happy, Haters will never want to
see you succeed, Haters never want you to get the victory, most of our
haters are people who are supposed to be on our side. How do you handle
your undercover haters?

You can handle these haters by:

1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are *(VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2. Having a purpose to your life? Purpose does not mean having a job.
You can have a job and still be unfulfilled. A purpose is having
a clear sense of what God has called you to be. Your purpose is not
defined by what others think about you.
3. By remembering what you have is by divine prerogative and not
human manipulation. Fulfill your dreams!

You only have one life to live…when it’s your time to leave this earth,
you ‘want’ to be able to say, ‘I’ve lived my life and fulfilled
‘my’ dreams,… Now I’m ready to go HOME! When God gives you favor, you can
tell your haters, Don’t look at me…Look at Who is in charge of me…’

Maya Angelou

 

 

 

 

What do I matter?

Psalm 139 (New International Version)

 

(…. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
       your works are wonderful,
       I know that full well….)

Many of us will spend a large portion of our life–for some–maybe our entire lifetime; searching for our purpose and significance, trying to answer the questions:

What am I here for?

Why did God create me the way He did?

What is the purpose for my life? 

Some of us have been fortunate enough to find many things we are good at doing; gifts, talents, abilities, those things we completely enjoy in life.  Men often find purpose and signifance in their professions.  Women often find purpose and signifance in bearing children.  Although these things within themselves are great and fullfilling, we can’t attribute our sole purpose in life to them.  We can still be left feeling unfullfilled and insignificant.  Lets face it, what I do for a living is not who I am.  Or even how many children I give birth to, does not explain the whole reason God made me a woman. 

Deep within the depths of our soul–we want to know, “Why am I here?”  Rick Warren offers an answer to these questions in his book, “The Purpose Driver Life.”  He has made it very clear that we are not an accident.  He further explains that God created us with a plan and purpose……because God is Love.   He made us so that He could Love us.   

Firstly, God wants to Love us.   Psalms 139 expresses just how much God loves us.  Before we were born, He knew us.  He knit us together in our Mother’s womb.  His hand is always upon us, guiding us.  His thoughts are on us all the time.  They are too vast to number.  God was thinking of us before He made this earth.  That’s Love!!  No matter what we think of ourselves, He still wants to Love us.  He knew exactly all that we would do wrong.  Yet,  He still choose to give us life.  As the psalmist says, “this is too much for me to attain.”

Secondly, He wants us to Love others.  This is where we will find significance.  Matthew 25:34-40 says;  we are to minister to the needs of others, in doing so we have done it onto Him.  There is nothing like touching others with God’s Love.  When we Love others, it is with an act of service or kindness.  Nothing we could ever do, could ever be more meaningful.  We are to be God’s hands and feet in the earth.  We should Love others even as Christ Loves us. 

Ladies, you matter to God and you matter to others.  If you want to find your purpose and significance,  welcome the Love of God into your life and give Love to others.  We were created for Love. 

PRAYER:  Father, we thank you that you created us with a purpose.  Lord, help us to receive your Love for us.  Knowing that we matter to You, and others.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made.  We are no accident.  You had us on your mind when You created the world.  We want to embrace the purpose we were created for.  Thank you, IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN. 

**You can go to Bible Gateway and read the entire book of Psalms 139.  Also, for those of you that have “The Purpose Driven Life” book;  you might want to re-read a few chapters.  Just for a refresher. 

 

 

 

 

Let It Go!

Isaiah 40:28-31 (Amplified Bible)

28Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, does not faint or grow weary; there is no searching of His understanding.

29He gives power to the faint and weary, and to him who has no might He increases strength [causing it to multiply and making it to abound].

30Even youths shall faint and be weary, and [selected] young men shall feebly stumble and fall exhausted;

31But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.

 

Yesterday is gone.  No sense fretting about it.  Worrying about it.  Crying over it won’t do any good either.  LET IT GO!  HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I used to be a person that dreaded the coming of a new year.  Because I remembered all the things that went wrong in the previous year.  And so, I would carry all the pain and disappointment into the new year. I was convinced that there was nothing good in store for me in the coming year based on the storms of the passing year.   Does anybody know what I’m talking about? 

As I reflected on the passing year, it occurred to me that it hadn’t been good.  There had been alot of pain and disappointments in it.  I mean, there are no “do overs” for any of the situations that had gone wrong.  So, once again, I began to dread the upcoming year.  Wondering what problems and sorrows it would hold too.  I began to convince myself that there was nothing good in store for me this year either.  I had lost hope.  Where?  When?  Why?

As I had begun to pray, I poured out my heart to God.  I told Him of my pain, of my sorrows, and even my disappointments.  You see, I didn’t feel like I had accomplished much.  It seemed like the year had been unproductive, difficult and painful.  But as I drew near to God, He drew near to me.  I hadn’t necessarily lost hope but, I realized that my hope had been in my own abilities and strengths.  I had taken my eyes off Him, and placed them on the situations.  Oh, not just what I was going through,  but all that everyone else around me was going through as well.  It all seemed impossible and beyond repair. 

What I love about God, is that He so sweetly reminded me that He has been there through it all.  He reminded me that my children have been without injuries. My husband made it through the year without any major health problems.  My daughter gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy.  As I began to count my blessings, hope began to build. 

What have I to fear or dread?  God is our hope for a better and brighter new year!  We need only to put our hope in Him.  God promises to renew the strength of those whose hope is in Him.  For He never faints of gets weary.  There is nothing to hard for our God.  He is Sovereign (meaning; with complete power). 

It’s true, yesterday is gone.  God holds our tomorrow.  If we but put our hope in Him, we shall mount up with wings as eagles.  We shall run and not be weary.  We shall walk and not faint.  Oh, Praise be to God!  It doesn’t matter what our yesterday was like.  We don’t have to be afraid to face our tomorrows.  God is our HOPE!

PRAYER:  Heavenly Father, we need only to count our blessings to have hope for the future.  Help us to remember the things you have done in the previous year and release the pain and disappointments, so that we don’t carry them into the new year.  Help us to let it go.  With grateful hearts we thank you.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN. 

 

 

Merry Christmas

A Gift For You

Luke 2:11-14 (N I V)

11Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ^[a] the Lord. 12This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

 13Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
 14“Glory to God in the highest,
      and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests

It’s finally here!  We have gotten all our shopping done.  All the presents are wrapped.  The tree has been decorated and all the cleaning is finished.  We are preparing for our guests — with family members visiting from out of town.   Now maybe we can take a few minutes, to remind ourselves of the true “reason for the season.”   The birth of our Savior — Jesus Christ.   Jesus was given to free us from sin.  I can’t think of a better reason to celebrate. So when you open each gift on Christmas morning, remember to give thanks to God for the greatest gift of all.  Glory to God in the highest!

 

We Are In A War

 

EPHESIANS 6:10 (NIV) 

 10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

 

As my son headed out the door, my husband called up the stairs to me, “you’d better pray for him.”  I had just gotten the younger children off to school and was headed for my bed.  I had taken some pain medication for an ear infection and was going to bed to get some rest.  Honestly, it never occurred to me to pray for him.  My focus was on the pain in my ear.  Just as I was about to close my eyes and drift off to sleep, I remembered last weeks sermon.  In which Pastor preached a message entitled; “We are in a warfare.” 

Suddenly, it occurred to me that I had better take this opportunity to pray for my son.  I wondered, how many times the enemy has taken advantage of times like these to advance his position in the battle he rages against me?  It occurred to me that he has been able to deceive me in this area often.  I was captured by the enemy.   I was not alert.  I was unprepared for battle.  While I was caught off guard, the enemy may have been able to gain territory in my son’s life. 

But, God had a strategy of His own. 

Even though I was unprepared for battle, my husband was ready.  It always occurs to him to pray.  He prays about everything.   It doesn’t matter what the situation may be.  Sometimes, I pray after the fact.  By then, I am sometimes to weak for battle.  As Pastor preached;  we need to get ready to battle, by putting on the whole armor of God.  We are to be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.  We have unrestrained power in the Lord. 

Why are we still weak?  There is no reason for us to be weak when we can gain strength.  God provides the armor. We need to put it on.  Be prepared.  The enemy is well prepared.  I wonder how many battles we have lost, by being unprepared?  The devil uses trickery to fight us.  He doesn’t fight fair or by the book.  He’s a skilled trickster. 

We often get caught off guard by focusing on our problem.  Our attention is focused on the problem and not the problem solver.  God had given us all that we need to prepare for battle.  We need to get ready, its not going to come by osmosis–a gradual absorption.  We have got to do something.  Once we put on the whole armor of God, we are able to stand against the devil’s schemes .  

 We can no longer be ignorant of the fact that we a in a war.  To remain ignorant is to remain defeated.  And that’s just where the devil wants to us to be. 

PRAYER:  Heavenly Father, today I put on the whole armor of God.  Thank you for not leaving me defenseless against the enemy.  With the full armor of God, I can stand my ground.  I will not be afraid because Your mighty power is unlimited and unrestrained.  Thank you for giving me the strength and courage to fight the battle.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN. 

 

You Are Somebody

Genesis 1:27 (NKJV)

27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

God looked out across eternity, He saw you.  He saw everything He had created and everything He would create around you.  He saw the specific need on this earth that He would make you to meet.  He saw the full set of traits and abilities that you would need in order to complete His purpose for your life.  He knew what kind of environment that would be necessary for you to properly develop the gifts He would give you. 

God looked … and then He created.  He created you.  You!  And God looked at you and said, “This is good.” 

Do you have the same opinion of yourself?  Do you agree with God’s opinion of you?  It’s important that you appreciate the way God created you because other people are going to treat you the way you treat yourself.  They will respect you only to the degree that you respect yourself. 

If you are attracting people who don’t treat you well, I’m sorry but you are the prime suspect in that case.  What kind of message are you sending that allows them to treat you poorly? 

In order for people to treat you well, there must be something deep inside of you that sends out a signal saying, “I am somebody because God made me to be somebody.” When you send a signal like that other people pick up on it. 

There’s something your spirit exudes that gives you presence with others.  There’s a quality of inner strength that makes you attractive.  It causes other people to recognize you, to pay attention to you, to ask when you walk into a room, “Who is she?”  They won’t be asking because your dress is so stunning, but because your character is so magnetic.  Projecting that kind of strength is not arrogance or pride. It is healthy self-esteem and the power of God’s Spirit within you. 

The way you appreciate yourself  impacts everything you do.  It affects the way you sit in a classroom, or apply for a job, or talk to people at a social function, or go about the ministry God has called you to undertake.  It even affects the way you pray and the way you study God’s Word.  If you think that your are a nobody with no future and no value, you are going to pray with less power and suspect that the promises of God are for everybody else but you. 

God wants you to appreciate who He made you to be and to develop what He gave you.  He doesn’t want you to try to exchange what He gave you for what He gave someone else.  You are a unique blend of talents and giftings and character; and you have a unique destiny upon this earth. 

You are somebody!        BISHOP TD JAKES 

Tap Into God’s Power

 

Ephesians 3:20 (Amplified)

20Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams.

There have been a lot of amazing technical changes happening in the world today.  Just look at the ever changing world of technology.  Who would have thought some fifty years ago, that we would be using the telephone without wires?  I’m sure Alexander Graham Bell would be amazed to see how far the telephone has evolved.   Most of our phones today have mini computers in them.  I remember not long ago, cordless phones were a big deal.  Certainly, no one expected to have a cordless computer on their lap. 

Today, most of us have our own personal phone connected to our hips at all times.  We dare not leave home without it.  And, we have become so afraid to miss a call; we now have a phone attachment to our ears.  Not to mention, almost every home in America has a computer.  Amazing! 

Moreover, the medical world has made great advances too.  Surgeries are much less invasive today.  My husband had his appendix removed using a laparoscopic laser; which only requires three small incisions to the abdomen. When I was able to see him after recovery, he had three (small) band-aids covering the wounds.  The recovery time after surgery was around two weeks.  It would have taken two months if the surgery had been done the old-fashioned way by making a long surgical cut.  Totally amazing!

Who would have thought any of these things could be possible?  There is an amazing power on the inside of us.  A power that is far above all that we could ask or think–above our highest hopes, dreams or imaginations. 

What is the power working in us?  1 Corinthians 6:19, tells us that our bodies are the temple of the Spirit of God.  We have Almighty God living on the inside of us. Wow!  With that kind of power on the inside of you, what is it you are asking God to do?

Is there anything too hard for God?  He has no limitations.  Often, the only limitations we have are the ones we place on ourselves.  Sometimes, the dreams we have are too small.  God is able to do above and beyond all that we dare ask or think.  What is it you are able to think?  God is able to do that too. 

God has amazing things He wants to use us to do.  Things, we think we can only dream about. The power of God is working in you;  pushing you to do the amazing.  Are you stopping short of what God has for you?  If you would only commit unto Him that which you are hoping and dreaming for, He wants to do amazing through you, for you and in you. 

You can be all that God desires you to be.  You can do all that God desires you to do, according to the “Power” working within you.  Tap in.  Don’t faint. Don’t quit.  Don’t give-in and Don’t give out. 

 

PRAYER:  Heavenly Father, help me to tap into the power working on the inside of me.  I give you all my hopes, dreams and thoughts.  Use me for your glory and honor, that I may fulfill your purpose for my life.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN. 

Happy Thanksgiving

With all the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it’s important to remember to give thanks for all the many blessings from God.  May the Peace and Love of God be with you and your Family.

Through a Rapist’s Eyes!!

Worth reading to remind us of things to do and be prepared for.  It is the
holiday season and being out shopping and such, they are on the look out for
you.

Through a Rapist’s Eyes (This is No Joke !)

When this was sent to me, I was told to forward it to my lady friends, but I’m
forwarding
it to most everyone in my address book. My men friends have female friends and
this
Information is too important for them to miss.

Please pass it along…

A group of rapists and date rapists were interviewed in prison on what they look
for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are
most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other long
hairstyle that can be easily grabbed. Women with short hair are not common
targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s
clothing can be removed quickly . Some of them carry scissors around
specifically to cut off clothing.

3) They also look for women who are on their cell phone ,searching through their
purse, or doing other activities while walking because they can be easily caught
off guard.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00a.m.
and 8:30a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted or attacked is: a grocery store
parking lot. Number two is: office parking lots/garages. Number three is: public
restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and
quickly move her to another location where they don’t have to worry about
getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence
but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it
only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth
it because it will be time-consuming and difficult.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas in their
hands, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind
you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look
them in the face and ask them a question , like ‘What time is it’, or make
general small talk: ‘I can’t believe it is so cold out here,’ ‘We’re in for a
bad winter.’ Now you’ve seen their face and could identify them in a line-up;
you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you , hold out your hands in front of you and
yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d
leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to
fight back .
Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and
carries it with him wherever he goes) , yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY. Holding it out
toward them will be a BIG deterrent. Use it if they continue coming toward you
!!

13) If someone grabs you , you may not beat them with strength but you can by
outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the
attacker either under the Arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the
upperinner thigh VERY, VERY HARD . One woman in a class this guy taught told him
she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her. She was so
upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands – the guy needed
stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it – it
hurts!!!    If attacked from the front, hitting a man on the tip of his nose as
HARD as you can with the heel of your hand can stun or even kill the
assailant…

14) The GROIN of a man is a very weak spot. I know from a particularly
unfortunate experience that if you hit a guy’s private parts it is extremely
painful . You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt
you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a
woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and run away as
he tries to recover from the pain.

15) If a guy puts his hands up to you , grab his first two fingers and bend them
back as far as possible as you push down with much force. The instructor did it
to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles
cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your
surroundings , take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior,
don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts!!! You may feel a little silly at the
time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

1. A tip from Tae Kwon Do : The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If
you are close enough to use it on the face, neck, body or groin, do so!

2. If a robber asks for your wallet or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM . Toss it
away from you….Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet or purse
than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD -TOWARD PEOPLE !

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights
and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like cra zy. The driver won’t
see you, but everybody else will. This has saved many lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working,
etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, powdering their nose, or making a
list, etc.) DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the
perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your
head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS
AND LEAVE!!!
If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO
NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car.
Your Air Bag will save you. The other person will get the worst of the crash. As
soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find
your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage:

A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor,
and in the back seat and floor.

B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.
Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while
the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the
passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, walk
back into the mall, or work, and get a guard or policeman to walk you back out.

IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS  take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible
places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at
NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The
predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it
most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN in a zigzag pattern!

8. Most women are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! It may get you raped or
killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who
ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or
a limp, and often asked ‘for help’ into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which
is when he abducted his victims.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone said that her friend heard a crying baby on her
porch  and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was
weird. The police told her ‘Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’
The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and
she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The
policeman said, ‘We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open
the door.’ He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby’s cry recorded
and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a
baby.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby —-This
should be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on
America ‘s Most Wanted when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana .

I’d like you to forward this to all the women and men that you know. It may save
a life. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your
mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as
well.  

Everybody got a Story– But, God got a plan

 

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

One day as I hurried through the grocery store, I ran into a friend that I hadn’t seen in a long time.  “How’s the family,” I inquired.   As we greeted and hugged, he began to tell me what had been happening in his life lately.  He explained that things haven’t been going as well as he would like.  However, “God has been good,” he said.  He had just received word that his seventeen year old son was missing from his ex-wife’s home.  It hadn’t been confirmed yet, but it was suspected that he had run away from home to be with a new girlfriend that lived in New York City.  So, he was awaiting confirmation that all was well, and that he hadn’t meet with an unfortunate mishap.

He explained that it had been difficult to concentrate on his school studies, with everything that had been occurring in recent weeks.  With working fulltime and serving as youth minister at his church, things seemed a little overwhelming.  Silently, I prayed for God to give me some words of encouragement to share with him. I told him that I would be sure to keep his family in prayer. 

He looked at me and said, “I know, I know, everybody got a story, right?” “Yes” I agreed with him. “But, God got a plan, I assured him.  We looked at each other with huge smiles on our faces, and declared “that’ll preach.”  I was excited that God gave just the right answer that encouraged him (us) to know in spite of all that was going on in our lives, God had everything under control.  Furthermore, He has a plan and purpose for our lives. 

This scripture has never been plainer to me than while watching the plan and purpose of Barack Obama unfold last night.  After two years of campaigning; He was declared “President-elect” of the United States of America.  God has restored “hope” within the hearts and minds of African-Americans.  A hope that reminds us, that He hasn’t forgotten and/or left us out of “The American Dream.”

Just like Obama, God has a plan and purpose for each of us.  It is a plan for our welfare, not for disaster; to give us a future and a hope.  Awesome!  You might say, “God has a plan for me? For me?” Yes, and that plan entails all the pieces of our lives.  From the moment God knew you,  He comprised a plan for your life.  And every day since, He has been carefully orchestrating every detail.  Your life is a story; a story that involves every detail.  God is so precise, that He didn’t exclude one tiny aspect.  Not one part of the story was left out.  Not one part of the story is insignificant. 

Everybody got a story, but God got a plan.  His plan is not a plan of calamity or tragedy.  Did God plan the evil of your life?  No, but He carefully and accurately formulated a plan that included every element; every hour, every minute and every day of you life.  Your Story. Did He specifically plan that rape or abuse of your life?  Not according to scripture, His plan is a plan to prosper you and not to harm you. 

So, you can rest assured, that what ever you have gone through or are going through now, God has already made a provision for you.  Because God is aware of all you’re going to face in your life.  He knows what tomorrow holds for you.  And because he knows, He already provided the solutions. 

Now, I don’t know what the story of your life is, but, what I do know is this—it is all apart of His Plan. 

PRAYER:  Dear Heavenly Father, I am so grateful that You are in complete control of my life.  Help me Lord to accept the plan that You have for me.  I place my story in Your capable hands, trusting that all things work together for my good.  Thank You Father, IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN.     Fred Hammond and RFC singing “your steps are ordered.”

Are You Willing to Obey?

 “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)         

The story is told that when Dr. David Livingstone was working in Africa, a group of friends sent a letter saying, “We would like to send other men to you. Have you found a good road into your area yet?”  Apparently, Dr. Livingstone sent this message in reply: “If you have men who will only come if they know there is a good road, I don’t want them. I want men who will come if there is no road at all.”

 

I wonder if God thinks this about us sometimes.  I wonder if He ever calls us to obedience without showing us the path we will travel, or the end result, just to see what we will do.  Kind of like a test.  Will we obey without a road map?

 

And I often wonder why following God isn’t easier.  There are days when I feel tired of getting called out of my comfort zone to obey God.  On those days I’ve been known to whine in my prayers asking God if there isn’t any way I can serve Him from the safety of my recliner. But that’s not God’s ways. God’s heart is to reach people in every city, county, state, and continent, and that involves risk on our part. 

 

Maybe there is something within us that is revealed when we are pressured from without.  Maybe the call to obey shines light on the truth about our faith.  I know that in order to grow, faith must be stretched, and that’s often uncomfortable.

 

You see, I have not learned to trust God in the easy ways of faith.  I have not learned to trust God by reading a book or listening to a great sermon.  Nor have I learned to trust God by hearing how my friend trusts God.  No, I am learning to trust God by stepping out into an adventure of obedience and discovering for myself that He is trustworthy.

 

This happened when my husband and I started tithing (after I resisted for years), and watched God cover all our needs and more. This happened when I obeyed His command to write a book (even though I didn’t know what I would write about), and watched God open doors of opportunity.  This is happened when we said yes to adoption, and are watching the blossoming of two little girls who now have a hope and a future.

 

Obeying when God hasn’t revealed the steps along the way or the final destination is challenging.  But when we choose to walk by faith and not by sight, God gets all the glory in the end because we KNOW we couldn’t have done it on our own!

 

Dear Heavenly Father, I praise You for being completely trustworthy. Thank You for having my best interest at heart, even when the path to obedience seems scary.  Help me to take the next step of faith, even when I don’t see where I’m going.  I will choose to trust You.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

---

The Mother of James and John–The sons of Zebedee

“SALOME” (suh-LOE-mee)

MARK 20: 20-21

Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Him with her sons, kneeling down and asking something from Him.  And He said to her, “What do you wish?”  She said to Him, “Grant that these two sons of mine may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on the left, in Your kingdom.”  (NJKV)

 

Jesus spent time at the disciples’ houses often, and he probably spent much time with the wife of Zebedee as well.  In this passage of scripture, we find her approaching Him boldly.  She knelt down before Him, asking a question.  Before she could ask, he said “what do you wish?”  Not at all put out that she–a woman–would approach him at all.  Jesus expressed genuine concern for her wishes.  Sometimes, we feel as if Jesus is unapproachable.  Salome not only felt comfortable enough to come to Him, she obviously knew Him well enough to come to Him with a very personal request.  Although, Jesus didn’t grant her request, she remained with Him until the end. (Mark 15:40)

 

Salome, (her name means “peaceable”) was a faithful follower of Jesus.  She was present at the cross with Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joses. Jesus wasn’t upset with her because of her request; He directed His answer to her sons.  It is suggested that her sons put her up to asking Him. And based upon her relationship with Him–she humbly asked.

 

What is it that you desire to ask Jesus, today?  He is ready, willing and able to handle any request put before Him.  He is approachable.  He isn’t standing by waiting to reprimand or criticize you. Ask.  He is eager to hear from you, no matter what the request. 

 

As women, it is probably our children’s requests that we concern ourselves with most.  Like Salome; we want what is best for our children too.  We often go to great lengths to make sure they have all they need.  I know I am continually bombarding Heaven with prayers for my children.  And because of our relationship; it isn’t unthinkable for Jesus to sometimes grant the requests.    

 

 My sisters, don’t let anything keep you from approaching Jesus.  Salome wasn’t hindered by the presence of the other disciples or what they might think about her request.  She felt confident that Jesus would listen and respond. And, His response didn’t affect their relationship.   She trusted Him completely with her hopes and dreams. 

 

PRAYER:  Dear Jesus, Today I approach you with all my requests.  Thank you for concerning yourself with the things that concern me.  Fill me with Your Peace and Understanding, no matter what Your response may be.  In Jesus’ Name, AMEN.  

 FRED HAMMOND–NO GREATER LOVE

 

FORGIVE–untill seventy times seven

Matthew 18: 21,22

“Then Peter came to Him and said.  “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Up to seven times?”  Jesus said to him, I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”(NKJV)

When Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother, Jesus replied, “Up to seventy times seven.”  That’s an awful lot of forgiving for one person to be required to do.  Yet, Jesus didn’t seem to have a problem with it.  In fact, Jesus commanded it.  It wasn’t up for discussion.  Jesus didn’t concern himself or ask questions about the situation that Peter was referring to.  Jesus didn’t ask Peter what sin was committed against him.  No, he simply said “forgive—let it die” as many times as it takes. 

 

Now, there is nothing harder than trying to forgive when you’ve been desperately wounded.  When the pain and memory of the offense is so great that it nearly kills you; often it seems impossible to forgive.    

 

When I was a child, I was sexually abused by the boyfriend of a relative.  The abuse went on for several years.  From it, I bore two children by the age of fourteen. I spent most of my life living with anger and hatred towards him.  I felt he deprived me of a normal childhood.  And I spent years wondering how my life might have been different if not for the abuse.   I lived with anger, hatred, and unforgivness every day. 

 

Then I encountered Jesus in this gospel story.  Matthew 18: 23-35 (NKJV), Jesus tells a parable about a servant that owed his master ten thousand talents.  The master had pity and compassion on the servant and released him from the debt.  But that servant found one of his fellow servants that owed him a considerable smaller amount and he would not release him from the debt.  He had him thrown into prison.  Once the master heard all of this, he called for the servant “you wicked servant,” he said.  I cancelled all your debt; shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?”

 

Jesus is letting me know that if I don’t forgive from my heart, I won’t be forgiven by my Heavenly Father.  God has forgiven me so much; also I owe God too much for the forgiveness He has given to me. 

 

A few months ago, I had an opportunity to speak with the man that abused me.  He never apologized for abusing me but, he said he asked God for forgiveness.  He believes God has forgiven him and he has made peace with the past.  I spent many years of my life being angry and resentful, while he has moved on and closed that chapter of his life.  It seemed to me, I had wasted too much time thinking about the past.  I needed to forgive and “let it die.” 

 

God has something He wants to live in me; “FORGIVENESS.”

 

We can spend time wasting away in unforgiveness but, we will allow it to consume too much of our life.  Don’t give it that much power.  Move on. God has so much more in our future, to remain stuck in our past. 

 

PRAYER:  Father, help us to forgive those that have offended us so deeply.  Even though, we want to hold on to the offense, we realize you have commanded us to forgive and let it go.   Help us Father, to forgive others just as you have forgiven us.  Every time we think about the offense we will say “I forgive,” until it comes from the heart.  THANK YOU, IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN. 

Do You Want to remain Bitter or get Better?

1 Samuel 30: 3-8

3 When David and his men came to Ziklag, they found it destroyed by fire and their wives and sons and daughters taken captive. 4 So David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep. 5 David’s two wives had been captured—Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail, the widow of Nabal of Carmel. 6 David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the LORD his God.

7 Then David said to Abiathar the priest, the son of Ahimelech, “Bring me the ephod.” Abiathar brought it to him, 8 and David inquired of the LORD, “Shall I pursue this raiding party? Will I overtake them?”
      “Pursue them,” he answered. “You will certainly overtake them and succeed in the rescue.”

David and his men had every right to be angry, resentful, and hostile. Imagine your entire family taken into captivity.  All your possessions taken and your home burned to the ground.  There are some things that have happened to us that give us the right to be angry.  The pain is so great that we weep aloud until we have no more strength left to weep.  We are left feeling distressed, hopeless and helpless.  Bitterness sets into our hearts.    

 

 Bitterness can leave us angry, resentful, and hostile.  And looking for someone to blame for what has happened to us.  Bitterness will keep us stuck in our pain.  As long as we remain bitter, we stay stuck. We shouldn’t get so caught up in bitterness, that we lose focus on what’s precious.  Do you want to remain bitter or get better?

 

 David chose to get better by finding “strength” in the Lord. Strength simply means–He shook it off.  Once he found strength, he was able to focus on what’s meaningful and precious.  1 Samuel 30:8 goes on to say “David inquired of the Lord” and then God gave clear direction for him to succeed.

 

Not only did God give direction but, He returned all the wives, sons and daughters that had been taken by the enemy.  According to 1 Samuel 30:18, 19, David recovered all that was taken by their enemy-nothing was missing. 

 

God is calling us to seek Him for strength to get better.  He will give us the power to overcome in every situation.  Don’t waste time being bitter, the objective is to get better. 

 

PRAYER:  Dear Lord, help us to get better.  We come to you with all our bitterness.  We aren’t looking for anyone to blame.  We just want to get better.  Help us Lord, to understand that all things work together for our good.  What the enemy meant for evil, YOU are using for our good.  Thank you Father, for soothing all our hurts and pains.  In Jesus’ Name Amen. 

The Commissioned Reunion singing “Ordinary Just Won’t Do”

God has an “AFTER THIS” for YOU

 Genesis 15:1

After this, the Word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision.  “Do not be afraid, Abram.  I am your shield, your very great reward. 

 

Many things have happened to us as we’ve lived this life.  We all have had to face some difficult times.  For some of us those things have been almost unbearable, unimaginable, unforgettable and uncontrollable.  For instance: Sexual abuse, physical abuse, and verbal abuse.  As women, we have experienced some of very type of abuse there is.  And yet, we survived.  Wounded, yet survived.  Why?  God had a vision for our lives. Just like Abram, God has a vision for your life. 

 

 Before This, God had instructed Abram to “get out of your country” and go to a place where he had never been.  (Genesis 12)  Along the way there was a famine in the land.  He had strife in his household with his nephew Lot.  Some of his family, along with Lot was taken into captivity.  He had to form an army and go into battle to rescue them.  Yet, through it all, God was with him.  He never left Abram.

 

 It doesn’t matter what we may have gone through, God was always there.  He will never leave us or forsake us.  Why?  He has a vision for your life.  You see, God knew you before you were born.  He already planned what you were going to be and accomplish.  With all that you have been through, there is always something “after this.”

 

After this,

God told Abram that He was going to give him an heir. He told him he was giving him descendants that would out numbered the stars.  He also told him, he would inherit land.  Abram believed God.  God later changed his name to “Abraham” a father of many nations.  

 

If we only knew the vision God has for us, what could we do differently?  Are you still holding on to FEAR?  God said; “FEAR NOT, I AM WITH YOU!”  God will be there to protect you.  He is your Armed Guard, your Protector.  And He has great rewards.

 

PRAYER: Father, thank you for the vision you have always had for our lives.  Help us to see ourselves like YOU see us.  Free us from fear and bondage that our “before this” has caused us.  Help us to believe in the “after this” that you have blessed us to walk in.  In spite of what we’ve gone through in our lives, because YOU had a vision for us, we can walk into our destiny.  IN JESUS’ NAME, AMEN. Mary Mary singing “Yesterday”

WHY Do Abusers Succeed?

Have you ever met an abuser?Here are some signs of an abuser. Remember: “Forewarned is Forearmed.”

An abuser is someone who –   –   –   –   –(1) PUSHES FOR QUICK INVOLVEMENT: Comes on strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this by anyone.” An abuser presses for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.</span

(2) JEALOUS: excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because “you might meet someone”; checks the mileage on your car.

(3) CONTROLLING: Interrogates you intensely (especially if you’re late) about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.

(4) UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.

(5) ISOLATION: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of “causing trouble.” The abuser may deprive you of a phone or car, or try to prevent you from holding a job.
(6) BLAMES OTHERS FOR PROBLEMS OR MISTAKES: It’s always someone else’s fault if something goes wrong.

(7) MAKES OTHERS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS OR HER FEELINGS: The abuser says, “You make me angry,” or “You’re hurting me by not doing what I tell you.”

( HYPERSENSITIVITY: Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when he or she is really mad. Rants about the injustice of things that are just a part of life.

(9) CRUELTY TO ANIMALS OR CHILDREN: Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3-year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry. Sixty-five percent of abusers who beat their partner will also abuse children.

(10) PLAYFUL” USE OF FORCE DURING SEX: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you against your will during sex; finds the idea of rape exciting.

(11) VERBAL ABUSE: Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. This may also involve sleep deprivation, waking you with relentless verbal abuse.

(12) RIGID GENDER ROLES: Expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.

(13) SUDDEN MOOD SWINGS: Switches from sweet to violent in minutes.

(14) PAST BATTERING: Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person “made” him (or her) do it.

(15) THREATS OF VIOLENCE: Says things like, “I’ll break your neck,” or “I’ll kill you,” then dismisses them with “Everybody talks that way,” or “I didn’t really mean it.”